Sunday, August 14, 2011

I Must Work In A Job Which Gives Me Energy

"I Cannot Work In A Job Which Takes My Energy Away;
I MUST Work In A Job Which Gives Me Energy.
Without Energy I Do Not Have Fuel To Enact My Ideas To Fix The World.
I MUST Work In A Job Which Gives Me Energy.
My Future And The Future Of The World Depends On It."

"I Need To Find People Who Are Like Me :
Teaching People,
Mentoring People,
People Who Love To Share What They Know Gladly And Openly.
Such People Energize Me.
Such People Will Teach Me The Skills I Need To Be Able To Support Myself."



Saturday, August 6, 2011

I have never felt like I really fit in, in our society.
Real life was boring and pointless.
In fantasy and fiction was there experiences worth living for.
I just barely tolerated living in the real world until I could enter the world of adventure and wonder found in tv and video games once more.

But...I think there is a way...

"Your Mind Controls Your Reality." This is a Bene Gesserit teaching.

At the moment I need fantasy to keep me unreal, because I don't want to be part of this world's reality.

I once thought that I had to "get my head out of the clouds" and be part of the real world.
There was a time for fun, and a time for work.
A time for feeling good in a world of fantasy and adventure, and then being part of the real world of pointless pursuit of personal wealth and profit.

Maybe I can still channel those feelings and not have to watch hours of tv to have them.
Maybe I can duplicate them in my mind.
The feeling of wonder and possibility.

I don't want to be part of this world.
I want to be part of a world of excitement and adventure.

So I won't lose my wonder-skills , but still get the time and access to higher thought processes I need to fix the world , I can give myself the feeling of wonder when I need it by using the memory of that feeling to create it in my mind at will.

Why?
I'm 31.
I keep dying without having lived yet.
I have a world to fix.
I need more time and sleep and quicker thinking to do it.

----

"I define who I am by a sense of wonder and the conviction that a life of adventure is what is worth living for."

Being a disciplined worker doesn't feel like that.